TV shows such as Sopranos and Afterlife show an insight into the therapy room, with some done for comedic effect. But what is therapy really like for those who have not experienced it ?
The therapy room
This is one of the rooms I use in City Therapy.
The first therapy session
The goal of the first session is to get to know each other, and to find out whether the therapist and client are a good fit. The first session is a time to get to know each other and establishing a way of working together. Sometimes a contract is introduced which outlines cancellation policies etc and any limits of confidentiality. There may be are a some questions about your family, friends, support system, sleep patterns, existing coping strategies and what you would like to to get from therapy. This can help the therapist to figure out what supports you have in your life already, what is working well and what areas you would like to work on. Having a goal can be a great way to get the most out of therapy, such as improving self esteem, working on a conflict at work or just generally getting to know yourself more.
A typical session
You don't have to have anything planned to talk about. The therapist may ask you about your week or how you've been since your last session. Some therapists may wait for you to speak first, so not to lead the session. Feel free to guide the session or bring up if there is anything pressing you would like to talk about. A conversation flows but it is the therapist asking questions and listening with curiosity. You may be stopped to delve further into a topic as the therapist listens and reflects back to you what you said, may summarise or check that they have heard and understood you correctly. There may be an emphasis on feelings or body sensations, and this is to help build awareness.
This is a shared and safe space to talk, it is your time, and the focus should be mainly on you, the client.
Some common reservations
I've heard over the years from people who are yet to try therapy.
"I may find out things I do not want to know about myself"
When thinking of therapy some people have a fear that if they "go there" they could open pandoras box and discover things about themselves they don't like or have forgotten. Therapy is designed to go at a clients pace. As you get to know your therapist and they get to know you, a trusting relationship can begin to form and you can open up at your own pace. If there are things that you don't want to or are not ready to talk about, that is ok. Therapy is a collaborative and works best when you can give feedback on what is working and not working. You're therapist will appreciate your honesty.
"I'm not sure I'm ready"
Only you know when you are ready to start therapy. Some people come to therapy during a crisis and some come to learn about themselves or try to find skills and tools to cope better with life's challenges. Some promise themselves for a while they will come and always put it off, and then something happens they can find themselves making the first call or email. The thought of opening up to someone new can be daunting. This is where an initial phone call can be helpful.
The first step
Taking the first step can be hard. Most therapists offer an initial discovery call, so you can explain what you are looking for out of therapy and find a time that works best. A call gives you the first opportunity to take some of the mystery out of the therapist and you can get a feel for what they are like.
To arrange a discovery call or book an appointment, please contact me.